Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!
My three year old tripped up and fell the other day. She starts dramatically crying:
“Daddy pushed me!”..
Me: “But, Daddy is not here”.
Answer: “Monster pushed me!”
My 14-month-old would fake a cry. Pause, see who is coming, and then continue to fake a cry. lol
I have overheard a lady next to me in the swimming class, talking about her little three-year-old girl telling lies, and how this has upset her.
I had to intercept and correct her perception on lying. I believe we are quick to judge this behaviour as negative. However, it is a very necessary and important part of their brain development. In addition, telling lies is also an unavoidable part of the fabric of our social life.
Research has found that children that know how to lie are more resilient in the future. (Institute of Child Study, Toronto University)
The more artful the lie is, the more quick-witted and successful little people will be in their later years.
Toronto University research has found that at age 2, 20% of children will lie, age 3, 50%, and by age 4, 90%! This peaks at the age 12 when almost ALL children lie. The tendency then falls by the age 16 to 70 percent.
For parents, this can be pretty distressing. Our job is to teach our children the moral code, integrity and good character. The value of being explicit.
How do you explain that sometimes it is ok to lie, such as the ‘white-lie’, which we sometimes say to protect feelings of others, or to protect the others. And, there are times when the lie is not acceptable at all. How do you teach a child that it is better not to say nothing, then spin a lie and stain your character?
To set our little ones onto a right path is to put the lie and situation into perspective.
Ask yourself why is my child lying? Experts tell us there are usually three main reasons why a child would lie: trying to avoid consequences/discipline, break rules, or boost their self-esteem.
Address these concerns, and redirect behaviour. Telling lies is a burden, which is not easily maintained.
All in all. Lead by example.
Mira Sarac
Mother. Passionate about the working of the relationships with ourselves and others. Absorbed in the topics about the nature of our psyche and how to be the best version of ourselves. Starting off by being healthy.
